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The Bugler
by Henry Mason
Conway Stewart told many war stories about his long and colorful musical career. As it happens, this one really is a war story. Conway joined the service for World War II and as a trumpet player, drew "Bugle Duty". This duty was shared by all the other bandsmen who happened to play the trumpet. The job was really quite simple. The bugler sat in a tower all day, bored out of his mind, and following a schedule, was expected to blow various bugle calls into a microphone.
One of Conway's close friends (who we will call "Stanley" not his real name....) also a trumpet player, had entered the service about the same time Conway did and was also in the training class. During the training period, he also drew the dreaded Bugle Duty. Stanley, in order to alleviate (if that's the right word) the boredom, took along a companion to keep him company for the day...one John Barleycorn.
During the long day he proceeded to partake extensively of the bottled spirit and toward the end of the day, was simply unable to read the schedule or the bugle call charts. To end the day on a proper note, he treated the camp to some serious straight ahead jazz instead of "Taps". To say that the Sergeant was not amused is like mentioning that it is warm if not humid in Hell.
Conway said that the last he saw of Stanley, he was behind the barracks digging a foxhole with a spoon, with the additional duty of filling the foxhole using the same spoon when the work was completed.
It sounds like "one of those stories", but I cornered " Stanley" a couple of years ago and asked about the story.
He would only say " I did used to drink a little".
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